How our tree of life is fed, develops and matures into a masterpiece of being is in direct relation to those who nurture and support us. What are those attributes and factors that feed our lives? Specifically, what gives us strong roots that enable our branches to become viable, long-lasting limbs? Words, deeds, and a support system of peers, family, along with self assurance remarkably help transform our sapling into a mighty structure.

During my many years of maturing, I have been gifted with a number of healthy relationships. Along with these support systems, are the multitude of philosophies and philosophers regarding positive living and being.  As a result, much of my life has been positive and filled with endless energy. 

Included in this piece are the many thoughts of others that I have gleaned as twigs of my tree of growth and development. Gathered from conversations, sermons, and yes, tea bags, these words and thoughts have guided me in one way or another. May you find value and thought for yourself.

Chaos:

• There is a fine line between creative and chaos. “I have lived a life of creative chaos.”
• Chaos is not a mistake, it’s a new opportunity to create. God is always working within us. Our curiosity in working chaos by peace, creating something new of our new, current mess!
• Do you rise to the challenge or let fear guide you? Oftentimes, the Goliaths get in our way of stepping out of our comfort zones.
• It’s tough to work to open the mind and heart to allow God the freedom to do surgery on the soul!

Light:

• Light does not come on by itself. Someone has to make it happen. It is a radiation from within that we give and share with others who live in darkness.
• God’s compassion in our darkness is what we are to be to others. Get involved and make a light.
• If you give someone light, it can make all the difference.
• Once we were all in darkness.
• Now, because of what God had done within me, I have become one who shines light on others.
• Like our God who puts stars in the sky as light..take your light and punch holes in the darkness.
• Live light, travel light, spread the light, be the light.

Controversy:

• Persecution is conflict gone too far.
• Good is generally contested by evil.
• Trouble will never leave you where it found you.
• We are living in a roller coaster of anxiety. Most of us just close down or shut off. We live in chronic anxiety.
• People, by nature, are fickle. They are easy to persuade, but difficult to keep their persuasion.
• People are filled with contradictions. All of us! No athlete achieves greatness as a lone wolf. We can worship anywhere and not be a member to receive support and growth.

Contentment:

• Choose to act better than you feel.
• Refuse to compare yourself to others.
• Accept others as they are rather than as you wish them to be.
• Accept things as they are rather than as you wish them to be.
• Be to others what they see as true contentment.
• In God’s pottery, there are no imperfect pots.
• Our society thrives on discontent. With our weaknesses, we allow ourselves to remain in a life of discontent. It’s the pattern of our world.
• I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13
• What do we need to be content? Food? Shelter? We often think what we want is a need. “Stuff.”
• There is always a place in time where we must meet ourselves and patiently learn something – to come to ourselves. It’s a fantasy that we think “the grass is always greener”, when in fact, it is not. 
• See the good in any situation and/or person. “I’m not homeless..my home is here, under the bridge.” It helps to cope when you see the good in every person and/or experience.
• All the “stuff” in our lives gets in the way of our love, loyalty, and openness with God.
• Believe in yourself. Be true to you. Unfortunate circumstances will come to you. Stay focused on your mirror, no matter what. L. Schlessenger

“Holy God, patient and kind, you know that we worry and become distracted by many things. Help us to choose the better – the joy and peace of your presence. Just as Martha offered hospitality to strangers and Mary listened carefully to your word, may we learn to be your hands and heart in the world.”

Pain:

• Pain is proactive – it’s the test tube of our faith.
• Pain pushes us to the edge of questioning. 
• We must make peace with pain to grow and move forward. 
• In the midst of all our grief/suffering, there is always a piece of JOY. 

Forgiveness:

• It’s a matter of acceptance. Sometimes it’s yourself. Just “Push and Pray.”
• Anyone can ride..but it takes talent to fall..and get back up. J. Walls
• Don’t ever apologize for your scars..they prove you are a survivor. It gives you texture. Some of us have more texture than others. It’s what makes your stories. J. Walls
• Our greatest need is forgiveness.  

Love Me/You:

• Love me as your friend; if you cannot, then love me as your enemy. Because the Bible says to love one another. Love me like that.
• The most wonderful places in the world are in someone’s thoughts, someone’s prayers and in someone’s heart.
• Your memories – all are a priceless treasure. Everyone has a story to tell..you slip on a banana – is it a comedy or a tragedy? It’s how you live it.
• Look into your heart – how can we throw more beauty into the world?
• We all have this beauty within us – music, reading, smiles, loving children, loving others. Bring it out, share it!
• The beauty of Michigan is God’s doing! It’s everywhere for us to use.
• “Make me a blessing”..”Count your blessings”.. Never focus on what you’ve lost, but rather, what you’ve found in your life.
• Sometimes the best way to remain sane is to love like crazy! It works for me!
• The more I give away, the more I seem to have. 

Justice:

• We need to heal the brokenness of today – Truth and justice matter.
• How we treat each other matters. We are all accountable.
• Are we hungering for justice and truth enough? This must be valued more than winning.
• I dream of the day all people become all for one and other. Continue to hunger and thirst so that one day we will all be satisfied!

Life/Death:

• In the rhythm of life is death – neither is negotiable.
• Nothing makes us consider life more than death.
• Life doesn’t happen to you – You happen to life. M. Dooley

Aging:

• Age is not how old you are, but how many years of fun you’ve had. M. Maldre
• Age is no barrier. It’s a limit you put on your mind. J.J. Kersee
• Age is not lost youth, but a new stage of opportunity and strength. B. Friedan

Keep Going:

• How do we keep going when life gets tough?
• Most often, times are the toughest when the road is the narrowest, the gate the smallest, and we have to get through.
• None of us ever get everything we want. We don’t get everything that is sweet.
• Tomorrow is another day and there will be another battle. It’s a part of life.
• Keep calm and prep for the run!
• Running from your own demons – Choose to turn around and face them. Put a harness around them and take hold. Take from your past and hold on to them; make the most of them.
• Everything we have comes as a blessing or a curse, just depends on what we choose.
• Do we insulate or isolate ourselves? Because of what we didn’t have, does that make us less of a person? NO!

Peace:

• There is so little peace in the world because there is so little peace within ourselves.
• Peace is the lack of conflict. Shalom – wholeness and harmony.God is the source of Shalom. Peace is everything working as it should.
• Gratitude and counting my blessings are one great sleek antidote!
• Open my mind, heart, ears, and eyes to YOU!
• Peace is an absence – usually of something negative.
• “Create in me a pure heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me..” Psalm 51:10

Blessings:

• The blessings of God comes in bucketfuls, not spoonfuls.
• Even in times when we feel so empty and alone, we have God and his many graces of love.
• People who are rich worry about everything.
• “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven. – the desperately poor rely entirely on God. They are free from the bondage to be rich. 

Be You:

• Don’t give yourself permission to think less of yourself than you are. Be true to you!
• Give yourself permission to have your own opinion.
• Focus on what beautiful things go into your life. Beauty will then come out naturally.
• Find your beauty and send it out! It gives us a way of facing anxiety. WE HAVE THE TOOLS! What a beautiful gift!
• Follow your instincts – your heart. Give yourself delight. Approve of YOU!

May you find peace and contentment among the chaos in your lives. Continue to feed your stems, branches, and roots in order to produce a mighty tree of strength.

As always, thank you for reading and supporting my thoughts and words. 

Recently, I was given a gift of documenting a collection of family stories into a keepsake treasure. My daughter blessed me with a year’s subscription to StoryWorth. Once a week for a year, I am provided with a question regarding my family, youth, and the like. I determine the length of each composition. At the end, StoryWorth will print and produce a lovely book for keeping. What a novel (pun intended) idea to preserve my memories and knowledge of family. 

I am finding great joy in readying my life’s thoughts and recollections into woven tales for my children, grandchildren and siblings. One such question posed recently inquired about my knowledge of grandparents. With the upsurge of interest in family ancestry, I have begun to delve into public records and minimal memories I can recall. Discovering my family roots; the anchors to which I have gained strength and growth, have opened my eyes to struggle and survival. 

Roots. The part of any living thing that attaches itself to the ground or a support system, transporting water and nourishment to the rest of the living via its numerous branches and fibers (online definition). Trees have them. Plants have them. Yes, our lives have them. Roots are the basic anchor that provide strength and food sources to all living things. Large, small, microscopic; all are necessary to the cycle of life. Family roots are the basic to our being and life. Personality, grit, determination, and survival carefully entwine with genetics to produce our very being. 

Sadly, I never met grandparents from my father’s side. They came to America as immigrants in the early 1900s and died at young ages. Daddy was raised by stepparents, and they too, passed before I was born. Faded black and whites are all that I have to imagine their struggles and livelihood as subsistence farmers. I have often regretted not knowing their history or learning to speak their native language, Hungarian. Did freedom and opportunity outweigh their struggles and survival? Likely, but I’ll never know their true verbal history.

As for the grands on my mother’s side, Leo and Ellen were present. Living a few miles away, I saw them often as Momma and her eight chicklets would regularly make a weekly visit following Sunday church. Adventurous jaunts to the barn and mammoth, empty farmhouse provided old, battered and tired memories. 

Grandpa Leo was 100% Irish. I remember him as tall, strong willed, and loaded with a full head of the whitest hair. He was often found sitting at the kitchen table slicing a large onion into a bath of vinegar and spices. Quiet and somber, I do not recall him as warm and fuzzy. He was a retired county employee, having driven a large truck that maintained local roads. Sadly, alcohol was a staple in his everyday needs. As a result, family income and healthy relationships suffered. 

Grandma Ellen’s memories have my clearest, most loving thoughts. She seemed to be the strength and spine of the family. Raising five children during the Great Depression had to have its grapple with daily survival. Add to that, Grandpa’s abuse of alcohol, she had to suffice on little to keep her family fed and intact. 

Although Grandma did not have a formal education, she was beyond resourceful. She took in laundry and provided whatever housekeeping needs the wealthier requested. In addition, Gram would scour the streets late at night to glean curbside trash. Anything metal was worth money as the war effort placed value on any and all “junk”. A few cents here and there kept her family roots sustained. 

Likely the most vivid memory I have of Grandma Ellen was her phenomenal cooking abilities. She made the best desserts from scratch. No boxed sweets for her! Lemon Meringue and Butterscotch pie were always waiting on her countertops for our anxious tummies. And her No-Bake cookies, YUM!  Coconut, peanut butter, walnuts, and raisins made for the best of her chocolate concoction. I continue to use and love on her recipes today! 

Sewing without the use of a machine kept Gram creating and busy. Known county-wide for her colorful, intricate quilts, she seldom had idle hands. I fondly remember her making these true pieces of art with no particular purpose or dedication. It was her careful choice of fabric colors and designs that needled their way into prized pieces. Her yellow rosebud Double Wedding Ring quilt made its way to decorating a large bed in the window of a respectable furniture store. Grandma couldn’t be more proud of her dedicated masterpiece. 

Of the four grandparents, I can only rely on public records and stories told for the most part. Grandma Ellen was my best root for deep, nourishing strength. She, along with the others, were survivors in weathering the storms of living and growth. The genetic pool has not disappointed. My roots run deep and are truly nourished with toil, struggle, heartaches, and joy. 

Lessons Learned

Roots are the anchor.  Whether plant or animal, roots provide growth and stability. They are the foundations of our growth and replication. 

Roots are not just physical.  Emotional well being and strength are those roots planted early and often a result of uncontrolled circumstances. These attributes are evident in our search for early family developments and help lead to our abilities to survive and endure. Thank you grandparents, for these roots in planting the seeds of my life. 

Thanks for reading! 

A previous blog piece introduced you to my initial adventures and misadventures with online dating. Keeping my attitude and social journey in honest perspective kept this chapter of intrepid waters joyful and enlightening. After several months of this social experiment, technology has reached its peak.  A few months back I readied to conclude and end this chapter of social searching.

But wait! A beautiful sunset to this enterprising venture made for a righteous ending. 

Call it grateful, blessed, lucky. Whatever the term may be, I have been gifted with a most gracious, gentle spirit. Introduced via the internet, Gentleman B. entered my life with usual trepidation. What has developed, in a short few months, however, is much more than I ever expected. 

Spending nearly a year troubleshooting emails and coffee meetups from a popular dating site, I was ready to stop all this politeness and hooey. Enough of introductory pleasantries, truth stretching, uncommon interests, and the like from the possibles. It seemed I was not finding or providing a good fit. Time out for a break from the social scene of my imaginary friends. Alas, one final profile tugged my strings of interest. 

The last of my choices was anonymously contacted. I was not hopeful to say the least.  Afterall, Mr. B. possessed the confirming assets that invariably secured a typical “No” response. Those included; his residence was too far away and as luck would have it, he was rather handsome. Combine that with a pleasant profile, I was certain Mr. Possibility would not return my “Flirt.”

With a click of “Enter”, I ended my online dating experience. Instant relief from the game of pretend. Online dating had ceased. I checked off, “been there, done that” from my Bucket List of wishing. 

Within hours, the unthinkable “pinged” my laptop. Busied with miscellaneous, I ignored the sound. Later that afternoon a check of the ping assured me that indeed, Mr.  “I Knew He Wouldn’t Respond”, had responded. For certain, I was ready for the polite, “No, but good luck in your search.” Surprisingly, those words did not appear.

A few niceties to each other sensed some mutual interests. Dedicated to family, Christian strength, and humor, to name a few. In little time, phone numbers were easily shared. Common inquiries as to singlehood, family dynamic, previous work, and the like were exchanged as conversations seemed effortless and comfortable. I had not felt this ease with any other matchup possibilities. 

Following a week of phone calls, Gentleman B. presented a possible meet up. Realizing there were over two hours that separated our homes, Mr. Polite made quick plans to visit as he offered several possibilities. Sensing no fear or trepidation, I agreed with a simple giggle. 

As you may have imagined, the rest of this narrative is history. Band aids to heal our previous losses have been applied and the medication of acceptance and adventures have begun. It’s the ultimate fairy tale ending all dating sites attempt to accomplish.

Fast forward nine short months. Extended families have been met and resulted in positive happiness and acceptance. Texting and phone calls have been at an all time high to our eyes and ears. Meetups occur on a regular basis as, “we make things work.”  Events of mutual interest, fine dining, and extensive, serious, honest conversations have weaved their way into our new found livelihood together. All without pretense, truth stretching, or imitated happiness. “If” times are readily being replaced by “when” times. Our hearts are once again being nourished and fed. 

Yes, this crazy life I live has successfully intertwined technology and love. As a result, I am happily and madly in like with a man who is no longer a figment of my imagination.  He meets my emotional and physical needs just as he continually reminds me that I do that for him. Thank you, Mr. B. for your generous heart and soul. And, life is good!

Lessons Learned

Love is where you find it. Friend matchups, workplace, church, want ads, internet. You won’t find what you’re looking for unless you are willing to open your eyes and heart. 

We love because it’s the only true adventure.  N. Giovanni. Mr. B. proves this to me daily! Quelch your fears. Adventure is good! 

Thanks for taking this adventure with me! 

Hmm. Let’s begin by visualizing this scenario:  Country living on a 100+ acre farm in mid-Michigan. A multitude of milking cows, grunting pigs, clucking chickens, stray cats and a dog or two for good measure. Toss in a crazy pony, a few ducks and newly found painted turtles. Add in many chores that needed tackling: weeding a massive garden, tending to the animals, harvesting whatever crops were planted for the season, just to name a few. Regardless of the childhood tales of crazy fun I spin, someone invariably will ask, “Where did you go on vacation as a child?”

Simple and true. Few leisure trips away from home for us eight chicklets ever took place. The demands of time and farm living became our Disney and SeaWorld. I’m not so sure any of us felt slighted in any way by not having adventures away from home. We simply invented our recreation and travel ideation every day! 

Our “holidays” began the day school was dismissed for the summer! On or about June 10, leisure and delight commenced. No alarms to wake us; just early sun and gentle breezes to greet our sleepy faces. No handwriting practice; just letter writing to movie stars for photos. No bus waiting at the end of the driveway; just a hop on the tailgate of the pickup for a creek swim!  Lastly, no polished shoes or tidy clothes for us; shorts, tees, and bare feet became our standard fashion. Ahh, Summer Vacation!

Rising before 9:00 a.m. daily was a given. Momma made the call for breakfast, and up we popped. Oatmeal with raisins and brown sugar, toast, and milk was the standard. No substitutes, a solid foundation for the day. Following a quick cleanup of the kitchen, it was out the screen door to a panacea of adventures. Bikes, sandboxes, tire swings, “fishing” the county ditch, building a treehouse, or playing the likes of house, doctor, or church. Our ventures were as varied as our imaginations. No two consecutive days or play partners were ever the same. Here and there, little troubles bubbled, however, most times we enjoyed each other’s daydreams. Ahh, Summer Vacation! 

Yes, our farm was a busy one as well. If Daddy wasn’t in the barn milking the cows, he was most often found in the fields, planting, cultivating, or harvesting. Momma never hesitated to have a bundle of mixed chores needing our attention. Help with milking, feeding chicks, and gathering eggs awaited our energies. Always reminding us that our family was a team, Momma treated us fairly and rewarded our efforts. No monetary allowances. Surprises like hand churned ice cream, fresh donuts the size of a frying pan, or jaunts into town for an orange soda were joyful and yummy. Little treats with large memories. Ahh, Summer Vacation!

One of my all-time “vacation” fun times was spent when our cousins came for a day on the farm. These city slickers innocently shared their naivety and anxious energy to experience the common smells, tastes, and sounds of country living. To them, our life was fresh, unique and spelled, F-U-N! Running barefoot through the barnyard, riding the back of a large, lazy pig, playing hide and seek in the hay loft, and yes, mastering the one-of-a-kind technique of hypnotizing a chicken were experienced. Our inventiveness proved itself every time. Who had the most fun, them or us? Ahh, Summer Vacation!

All in all, I feel so very blessed and do not regret the experiences of summer vacations away from home. Opening the screen door every morning with seven playmates was holiday in itself. Pitching blanket tents pinned to the closeline was the closest we ever got to camping.  Never a dull moment as we embarked on all things country and inventive. Simple. Innocent. Authentic. Epic. Ahh, Summer V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N…on the farm! 

Lessons Learned

Vacation – a leave of absence from a regular occupation, or specific trip or journey, usually for the purpose of recreation or tourism. Often spent with friends and family.

Any word can conjure up different meanings. Our vacations of childhood were not far away, exotic nor costly. Imagination determined our destiny, travel, and leisure.

Necessity is a mother of invention.  Although we may have spent countless hours with necessary chores, our rich, ingenious imaginations provided summers of self-induced vacations. I have no regrets. 

Thanks for reading and taking another journey!