Neighbor. A person or persons who live nearby, normally in a house that is next door, or across the street. Some people share friendships with their neighbors and help them by sharing their tools and help with such things as gardening. Wikipedia. 

Growing up on a small subsistence farm we valued the friendship of neighbors. Favors were scattered, help was abundant, and entertainment was a given. For the most part, I remember oodles of kids walking in and out. As Momma often jibed, “ What’s a few more when you’ve got eight of your own?” Easy come, easy go. We got along as life was simple and good. 

The Similik Family were my favorites. Joe and Lucy were young newlyweds and helped our growing family in the form of daycare. What a gift they provided!

Daddy and Momma were producing kidlets in record time and would not deny any free care and affection offered.  As a result, I was often taken from the fold for days at a time. A padded drawer served as my crib when I wasn’t sandwiched between them at night. Lucy reminds me of these loving moments each time we meet. Godsent and appreciated deeply. Abundant neighborly love. 

Pops Joe was a day worker at Dow Chemical while Momma Lu stayed home to manage their growing family. Within a few years, their three kidlets, Kimberly, Curtis and Tammy, joined our family of eight. We kids kept entertained with farm activities and play. Our mommas shared coffee, smokes, canning secrets, gossip, Avon, and child-rearing advice. All in all, these priceless tools likely kept them sane. 

Another family of neighbors included the Burch crew. Father Pat and wife Dorothy farmed large while raising their three kiddos, Mike, Bill, and dearest, delightful, Emily. Known for his short patience and resounding voice, Pat was easily heard. Loud and clear, we always knew when something was turning sour on their farm.

On the other hand was sweet Dorothy. Always a smile and so very kind, she cooked, she sewed, she drove tractor. No doubt, she raised her family with precious love.

Mike and Bill were older than us kids. Racing their motorcycles and cars up and down our dirt road, they left much to envy and be impressed. Every now and again, these “young men” would come visit for a pick up game of baseball. They knew everything about the game and we did not question.  With 13 kiddos in all, we could almost sport two full teams! Bases made of old rags, shimmied boards for bats, we made do with a small, rubber ball. Game rules and cooperation at its neighborly best.

A year younger than me and most adorable, dear Emily added femininity to our clan of kiddos. Cute, curly-haired, full of giggles, Miss Em was our trophy princess. Definitely the girly girl in the hood. Every now and again, however, she would join us in dirty mud pies, fishing in the ditch, or gathering eggs. Courage and cute, Princess E. possessed both!

Because of their large farm, the Burches often bartered with my dad regarding the business at hand. Pat would bale our hay for winter while Daddy welded and repaired equipment and tools. Farm equipment was costly, thus providing each other planting and harvest support, work was accomplished. Good neighbors and good partners in farming. 

Last of the neighbors that lived within a mile were the Jenkins Family. They lived in the large, simple brick home where Daddy’s family had homesteaded. For the most part, they stayed to themselves. 

Don, the father, was a day worker in construction. I remember him as a heavy smoker and seldom home. He worked when the building trade was booming and suffered when a poor economy forced unemployment. Wife Julia was small, meek, often pregnant, and chief caretaker of their nine children. Simple and plentiful, us 17 youngins, shared sandboxes, orchard fruits, garden vegetables, and tales of pretend. Good neighbors, good kids! 

All in all, we had the good in neighbors. We cooperated together, not with envy, anger or conflict.  We had the right amount of work, ingenuity, and determination.  Within one half mile we shared 23 kiddos of varying ages, sizes and temperaments. The men kept lines of loyalty and assistance open. Mommas kept the phone’s party line open with daily calls of advice and laughs. Helping each other, sharing abundant counsel, in addition to timeless hours of play and mischief, our families were true neighbors. Nothing elaborate. Unassuming yet compassionate. We did have it all! 

Lessons Learned:

Neighbors being neighborly. Priceless. We should all be so fortunate.

Know your neighbors. It’s where peace begins. We knew our neighbors and they knew us. And we liked what we had!

Thanks for reading!

Life for me has been consumed by countless days of children. Multitudes! Seven siblings, endless sitting jobs, 36 years of helping to educate young minds, and the list goes on. Patience, endurance, advice. Given by the bushel, received just as well. 

Recently I was asked, “What is your best advice when it comes to raising children?” Given my life experiences, the expert answer was on the tip of my tongue. 

Oh wait, I had no quick fix of advice. Every child was as different as their name. My varied experiences with all ages, sizes, and temperaments had not allowed just one common hint of guidance. So many personalities and events providing the groundwork for a myriad of counsel and thoughts.  

Time to take a long look at those many adventures of forming and building young minds and hearts. I’ll begin with the two most important humans in my life…

The gift of life twice! Yes, I was blessed to have the pleasures of raising two lovely, empowered daughters. Jennifer and Alison have given me years of joy with a few days of challenge sprinkled here and there. All in all, the pride I carry for this dynamic duo is oftentimes overwhelming. Advice has been seasoned with love all along their path to adulthood. Let’s take a gander.

First and foremost was the birth of exceptional daughter number one, Jennifer Lyn. Born in 1978, I did not have the pleasures of ultrasound, epidurals, and Pampers.  As a result, Jenn was overdue by a few weeks, weighed in at just under nine pounds, and greeted my unmedicated world with a wink and smile. God had rewarded my hours of pain and labor! I was immediately in love!

Returning home with our bundle of goodness, Jennifer continued to awe and inspire. She slept through the night (such a lofty goal we new parents set) within a week, took long naps daily, and seemed to have a true sense of contentment. Life couldn’t be better!

As Jenn grew, so too, did I. We were the best of allies. We traveled, played and grew together. Planting gardens, picking berries, searching graveyards for history, and locating those precious Petoskey Stones just to name a few. Great memories for Jenn, priceless for this blessed momma.

Motherly advice was sprinkled, planted and gathered:

1. “It doesn’t cost anything to be polite.”
2. “Always remember, you have wings to fly. Be whatever you crave, go wherever you desire, because YOU can. Just fly.”
3. “You are climbing a steep mountain. When you get to the top, you will jump over to climb an even higher one. You’ve got this.”
4. “Don’t ever let your head get bigger than your shoulders can support.”
5. “These are choices he is making. You are stronger than you think.”
6. “Do the right thing, because it’s the right thing to do.”

Today, Jenn and I continue a strong bond of mutual trust, respect, and love. I do not hesitate to seek her advice when troubled or short on cognition. She is educated, compassionate, driven and ever evolving. As a momma-llama, Jenn lives each day as a passionate champion of her three kidlets. I couldn’t be more honored or blessed. Yes, God continues his goodness in my bountiful garden.

Second to grace our lives as a family was sweet, exceptional Alison Marie. Born seven years following Jennifer, Miss Ali was easily welcomed and loved by three sets of open arms and hearts. Born nearly two weeks early she debuted full-bodied and lively with less than two hours of labor. At just over seven pounds, Alison assumed the energy that Jenn did not seem to possess (all in a good way!). She loved being awake, entertained, and fed! Walking came early as she independently took to the floors at eight months! Her vocabulary grew exponentially with the encouragement of her best mentor, Jennifer. While in her early school years, she often reminded me, “Mom, today I was Electric! It was a great day!”

Over and over, Alison’s energy and liveliness kept us on our toes. She was always on the move, whether running, singing, dancing, or playing. Everything appeared to come easy for this firecracker. Thank you God for the dynamics of Alison in our lives.

Motherly advice was sprinkled, planted, and gathered:

1. “It doesn’t cost anything to be polite.”
2. “You don’t have to be a follower. Being a lead dog has its benefits. You can do this!”
3. “You don’t have to please anyone but yourself.”
4. “You have such a positive presence in front of others. I admire that in you.”
5. “Remember, you have those wings to fly…wherever, whenever, whomever you want. Just fly.”
6. “You don’t realize how strong you are until it’s the only choice you have.”

While adulting, Alison continues to grow in her intelligent, compassionate, witty, and varied talents. Whether she be writing, counseling, or challenging herself, Alison is a true warrior. I so love her committed life to marriage, family, and God. She continues to be my strength and bond for life. 

I cannot stress enough how humbled I am to be a momma link to these beautiful ladies. Although they share the common genetic bonds, these two can be different as night and day. God offered me two kind souls to nurture, love and appreciate. And that I do! Thank you God for the exceptional life of good! 

Lessons Learned:

What you give, you get back. What you plant, you reap in bountiful ways. Thank you Jennifer and Alison.

Be true to yourself. There’s only one YOU!

Thanks for reading!