Tootsie for Short

With the annual tribute of Mother’s Day just around the corner, I am continually reminded of who helped develop my confidence, perseverance, and kindness. Endeared and revered, Mom was the power to be throughout childhood and well into my adult life. She worked endlessly to protect, feed, and nurture her Crazy Eights. It is with deep love and respect that I honor Miss Tootsie, a predictable strength when life was so unpredictable. 

My momma, Tootsie for short,  was a sane and sensible woman. God so cultured her emotional strength and reserve to manage eight children, a loving husband, and a small farm filled with good crazy. A commander, comforter, and comrade, Momma T. so often put others’ needs before her own. 

COMMANDER. 

I’m not certain this woman of strength ever slept! It seemed Momma easily hatched plans to keep her kidlets outside so that she could tend to the business of inside. The garden needed tending. Eggs needed to be gathered and cleaned. Take baby sister to the swing/sandbox/for a wagon ride. Her mind stirring activities were endless. 

As night time drew, Momma would draw the tub with hot, soapy water. Two at a time for baths, no questions of who bathed with whom. Within a few minutes of wet, came the call to scrub each other’s back, rinse, and exit for the next pair of dirty. Gathering the usual dinge and grime of the first four, the tub would be emptied and refilled for the remaining four.  A quick in, scrub, rinse, and out; eight squeaky cleans in less than an hour. Momma commanded the troops and we answered her call. 

The nightly ritual of bedtime by 9:00 p.m. was accompanied by prayers and “Goodnight Mommas” as they echoed through the house. Once in bed, a few giggles here and there were often interrupted by Momma’s directness,  “It’s time to settle and get to sleep. Your dad doesn’t need to be woken up. Goodnight, Goodnight, Goodnight!” That was that. Her customary tone assured us who was in command. 

Was it time for Momma T. to find slumber as well? Not by any means. This was HER time to wash floors, sew new dresses, or sit solo with a hot coffee, cigarette, and enjoy the quiet of drawing up grocery lists, entering contests, or catching a bit of late night with Jack Parr. Limited as it was, bless the time Momma found for herself. 

COMFORTER

Although Momma seemed to rule with her stern voice, she provided doses of comfort. Funny as it seemed, being sick had its benefits. One on one time with Mom was limited until our ills demanded her attention. Little brother Johnny recently recalled a day home from school with Momma was the best get well medicine. Pulling cans of Fresca from outside snowbanks assured him of wellness and her undivided attention. 

I, too, remember the good of being ill. Home sick with something or other, Momma and I  cuddled on the sofa watching the “Price is Right”, Jack Bailey’s, “Queen for a Day”, and her favorite soap, “As the World Turns”. The comforts of Momma with toast and a dish of canned peaches soothed my heart and  tummy. Warm Jello water or Vernor’s sufficed as hydration for queasy. A noxious cold, however, was soothed by hot water laced with honey and a half shot of Kessler’s. Tootsie’s comforts for a bad day.  

COMRADE

Being the second of four sisters, I was the most likely to be without a Friday night date. Momma T. filled in as my counselor and comrade. She was the know-it-all advisor and guide. My spirited soul for popcorn, hot cocoa, and rounds of Scrabble, she made good for my sense of empty.  In reflection, those precious “dates” with her were by far, superior to sitting on cold football bleachers or the like with a boy and limited conversation.

Taking time from school to help Momma with home duties was a rare treat we shared.  Having above average grades, she often inquired, “How’s tomorrow look for you? I need to get bedding washed and dress out about 30 chickens to sell. You wanna stay home and help?”

How could I refuse? Regardless of these despicable tasks, I had Momma’s attention, wisdom, and heart ALL TO MYSELF! We made a great team as I learned many of her survival strategies while at the same time how to defeather, dress out, and cut up a chicken for dinner! Laundry, chickens, chores became delights as I enjoyed Mom’s individual, precious time.

As an adult, Mom continued to impact my life as a wife, mother and teacher. If I was at the end of my thread of patience, thoughts of her strength and calm often emerged. She had raised eight children the best she knew how, while managing a home, husband and farm. She succeeded day to day with her proverbial, “It is what it is” attitude. What was I to fear in my own abilities to juggle life? 

Free counseling and limited advice, Momma style, built up my independence rather than encouraging my negative banter. She was only a phone call away. In retrospect, my life was doable compared to her continuous life as a wife, mother, nurse, gardener, you name it. Her home and children were priority. Her work ethic, a true model. Her support, immeasurable. 

Although she has been gone for nearly ten years, I am in constant reminder of this lady of empowerment. Whenever I need a listening ear or a shot of patience to get through the next hour of crazy, Mom’s face often appears. “It is what it is” echoes in my heart. Yes Momma, YOU will always be my imprint of strength, calm, and good. 

Lessons Learned

Beauty is not who you are on the outside, it is the wisdom and time you give away to save another soul. S. Adler.  Momma T. did this for not only her family, but so many others as well.

All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.  A. Lincoln.   No truer words. 

Thanks for reading!